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Baby Girl Can You Remember?

Baby Girl can you remember?

Back then.

They measured you.

Too luminous.


A bright shiny mirror to their fear.

Your energy: too supreme

Your courage: a reminder of their lack.


Blind to their actions.

They failed to realise.

Unknowingly.

They cut you down.


You observed.

Their faces; their displeasing frowns.

You noted.

The annoyance.

The strain in their voices.

You believed you were the cause.


You fought hard.

Desperate to stay true.

But their words cut deep; too deep.

Your sparkle began to fade.

You became less.

Less of who you were born to be.


Your light dulled.

You affirmed you were the problem.

Wanting to please

You surrendered your sparkle.

Labelling it unwanted.


You buried it deep; frightfully deep.

Years past.

No sparkle.

You forgot it existed.


Dormant it remained.

Until that day.

I remember it well.

The words that changed everything.

Death-bed, regrets.


As if woken by fear.

The sparkle illuminated.

Unrecognisable at first.

An energy surge long forgotten.


What is this?

Exhilarating and warm.

I’ve felt this before.

Why am I so afraid?


Fears of the past erupt.

I remember now.

Their frowns. Their annoyance.

Could it have been ‘their stuff’ after all?


Contemplate.

What if my sparkle was simply a mirror?

Could that be okay?

Am I safe to let it shine?


Afraid, I test the water.

Crumbs at first.

Unconvinced the world needs me.

Or my forgotten sparkle.


With each crumb my light gets brighter.

The furnace within strengthens.

Courage, bravery, love.

Oh, how I’ve missed you.


Going brighter now. More crumbs.

Oh no, too far. Retreat.

Annoyance floods my ears.

Frowns pierce my eye.

They don’t want me to shine.

No.

It’s not them, it’s their fears.

Shiny mirror.

Remember?


Retreat feels safe; too safe.

Consider.

Play small?

Surrender to their fears?


No; not an option.

Not now.

I’ve stretched too far.

I know too much.


The sparkle speaks louder now.

Onwards.

More annoyance.

More frowns.

More fear.

The sparkle.

Unshakeable now.

Hiding no longer an option.

Dampening not possible.

I surrender to my sparkle.

Bliss charges my veins.

I am here.

I have arrived.

I am home.

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2019 Katie Manser